Q: How far are you willing to go for love?

Honestly, I’ve never put much effort into attracting love. But a few days ago, that all changed.

~The Beginning of the Love Journey~

I pull the flimsy coat tighter around my body regretting the choice of shoes I selected to leave my house with this morning.

The combination of ice and snow pelted my thinly covered skin with persistence. Sticking to the ground, I found the nude-colored flats provided little to no coverage allowing moisture to seep in and soak my wool stocking.

The sounds of laughter reverberates against my eardrums as a few friends and I trudge our way back to the church to escape the unexpected snowfall.

On a normal night, I would already be home wrapped under the covers in my bed, but tonight I find myself wandering the streets with a new group of people, far, far away from the comfort of my own home.

This was all due to the challenge my friend sprung on me a week or so before. I can’t say that I love it, but it definitely provided me with an interesting experience.

The Challenge to Find Love

Okay, here are the rules.

  1. First, whenever you go out, dress to the nines-look drop dead gorgeous.
  2. Second, make an effort to go out multiple times a week. (This doesn’t have to be anywhere fancy; it just has to be out of the house. Example: going to the gym, going to a cafe, going to church, etc.) However, one of these places must be a NEW place.
  3. Third, be accountable and share the journey. (Ex: blog, post on IG, vlog, etc.)
  4. Lastly, have a positive mindset.

This was the challenge that forced me out of the warmth and comfort of my bedsheets into the streets on this particular Saturday night. The goal in question that prompted this unnatural journey for me started from a simple declaration from a close friend of mine –

“You don’t experience anything because you choose not to.”

Robyn

The truth is, she’s right. I’ve never been the luckiest when it came to romance, and I think internally I intentionally force myself to stop looking for it. If I never look, I can never be disappointed, right??

Totally 🙄🫠.

Regardless, I still yearn for the experience that comes with a romantic connection. I want my own person- to talk with someone late at night, to experience life with someone.

So, I think I subconsciously saw this challenge as an excuse to let me hope again and I’ve decided to document the journey and share it with you and keep myself accountable.

Now that I’ve caught you up, shall I tell you how it’s going so far?

Week 1 Analysis

The first thing I did at the beginning of this challenge was go out and buy makeup.

New skin, new me, right?

I bought the makeup with mixed feelings. Truth be told, I am quite comfortable with my bare skin. I love it. But I believe the makeup helps me adopt a different mindset. If I went about my day like I did before, I don’t think I would’ve taken the challenge very seriously. The makeup was an intentional, deliberate act of accepting the challenge. Every day I would make an effort to attract.

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel an immediate change. I actually felt somewhat less beautiful. The makeup, the clothes, the necklace, the earrings, everything…. I tried it all and I felt less attractive.

But I kept at it.

I went to a new cafe on the second day, and went to the gym throughout the week. However, by Saturday, nothing felt right. I was going through the motions, but I didn’t feel attractive and I was feeling less motivated to continue. I went out and spent the whole day with people feeling like an alien in my own skin.

Frustrated, I decided to whine to another one of my friends on Sunday about the whole thing when she checked in on me. Her response motivated me to face this week with a whole new mindset.

New Mindset

Inner Work

Last week, I focused a lot on outer beauty, but I’ve never valued exterior beauty as much as I did inner beauty. I believe the reason I felt so at odds with my experience last week is because I was focused on outer beauty instead of the inward beauty. So, this week, I am facing this challenge with a new mindset – feeling beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside.

I don’t know how my perspective will change, but I’m hoping that it will make the experience more enjoyable. So, here’s the plan:

  1. Say positive affirmations to myself daily.
  2. Take time to do things that make me feel good inside (listening to good music, read uplifting books, etc.)

I guess in the heat of it all I forgot that the whole point of this challenge isn’t just about finding love, but also to open myself to new experiences. Sure, the main thing I cut myself off from is romantic relationships but the goal is to not intentionally shut myself out from good things that can possibly come my way.

We’ll see how this week will go. Wish me luck!

Until next time,

✌️